


For the Best

by Gayformarvel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/F, Maria and Natasha need a hug, why did I write this ooof my little gay heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 04:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayformarvel/pseuds/Gayformarvel
Summary: “I know you won’t be able to understand, but I’m doing this for you,” Maria choked out.“If you really loved me, then you would know that’s not true,” Natasha whispered out, her voice laced with pain and hurt.





	For the Best

Natasha takes a deep breath in, the words swirling around in her head like a storm and stopping her world as she stares back at the woman she has come to love. The only person she ever trusted with her heart.

 “We can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry Nat,” Maria whispers out with red eyes and a desperate expression.

 Natasha stares back at her with mixed emotions. Shock, pain, confusion and panic all mixed into one mind-numbing feeling as she struggled to comprehend what was happening.

 “What- What are you saying?” Natasha rasps out, her throat now tight with the effort of holding back the gut-wrenching sobs she wants to let out.

 Maria’s face contorts as tears slip down her face, her eyebrows meeting and her lip quivering as she squeezes her eyes shut in a lousy attempt to keep herself from crumbling. She takes a moment to collect herself enough to speak without sobbing herself.

 Natasha watched her silently, close enough to reach out and touch her but she doesn’t dare try to. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t want to. Instead, she wraps her arms tightly around her thin waist to give herself something to anchor her down to earth as the ground is being ripped out from under her feet.

 Maria cracks her eyes open again to meet Natasha’s emotionless gaze, her heart aching even more as she hurts Natasha in a way she promised never to do.

 “I just, I just can’t anymore Natasha. I’m sorry,” she whispers the lie into the cold air between them.

 Her gaze drops away from the empty green eyes locked onto her, the guilt making it too hard to watch Natasha fall apart silently just an arm’s length away. She wants to reach out and touch her, hold her and take it all back, to erase the pain she just caused but she can’t.

 She’s doing this _for_ _her_. It will be better this way, to let her move on before the inevitable happens.

 Natasha tightens her grips around her waist as a breeze passes by, leaves rattling around them, scratching against the concrete as both women stand silently and perfectly still. Afraid to move.

 Natasha doesn’t know what to say, can’t understand why Maria would do this to her after all they have been through. Her chest aches as she struggles to keep her face neutral, like the words Maria just spoke hadn’t shattered everything good in her world. She takes a step back, distancing herself from the only person she can trust.

  _Used_ to trust.

 “Nat… Please just say something, anything,” Maria practically begs, her voice hoarse and her façade finally shattering.

 Natasha opens her mouth to say something, then closes it again lost for words. Her face remains the stoic expression that was so carefully built into her, but tears break the barriers and start to fall down her slightly rosy cheeks.

 “How can you do this,” is all Natasha could murmur softly.

 Maria looks back up at her, memorizing the soft curve of her cheeks and the hard line of her jaw. The shock of red against her pale complexion and the deep green of her cloudy eyes. Those perfect eyes were darker than usual with the liquid currently welled up in them. She really looked at Natasha now, because she knew this was the last time she would get to.

 Tomorrow she would be deep undercover with Fury in a HYDRA operation, probably for years unless she was killed first. That was why she had to end things with the love of her life, because she couldn’t bear the thought of Natasha waiting for her all alone, or knowing Natasha still loved her fiercely when she was killed during her timeless mission.

 She refused to cause Natasha more pain than necessary, which is why she is destroying _herself_ in order to protect the person she loves the most. Natasha will survive this, she has survived much worse before. But Maria? This will kill her more than a bullet though her heart.

 At least that what doing this feel like right now.

 “I know you won’t be able to understand, but I’m doing this for you,” Maria choked out.

 “If you really loved me, then you would know that’s not true,” Natasha whispered out, her voice laced with pain and hurt.

 Natasha searched her face, looking for any sign that this wasn’t what she thought it was, that they could hash out this misunderstanding and go home to their shared apartment where their cat awaits them. The home that they built together. She could read Maria easily, knowing that she was lying to her about something, that she wasn’t getting the full story.

 But as she searched her lovers face, all she saw was the brutal truth. Maria was ending their relationship without an explanation, doing the one thing she promised she would never do.

  _Breaking her trust_

Natasha let one last tear slide down her cheek, before she turned around and calmly walked back to the compound. Leaving Maria behind her as she pushed on, determined to make it to the safety of her on base living quarters before she loses herself in the emotions ripping her apart from the inside.

 Her hear lurches as she hears Maria’s sobs from a distance, tempting her to turn back and force her to explain herself, but she keeps on walking.

 Away from the woman she trusted and loved. Away from her _home._

 And Maria watched her leave, fighting every instinct in her body to chase after her and take it all back, because it is better this way.

 When she comes back from her this mission in a casket, hopefully Natasha will have moved on. Because she knows that is the only way out of this mess she is soon to be thrown into.

 So she lets her walk away and rip her heart straight of her chest, but knowing full well she just broke Natasha in a way she swore never to do.


End file.
